Thursday, May 24, 2012

Sam - end

Then there was Jim. Now Jim's the youngest and he always did have the craziest hard luck stories that still somehow made some kind of sense. Even if you didn't believe them, they were always entertaining. He was going to stick with the Navy but got up to some trouble and never really stuck to anything after that. He's always got some get rich quick scheme brewing.

He used to ask me pretty regular to put some money into one of the other of them. Don't hear so much more about it now. Not sure if he's calming down or he just gave up asking. I never did say yes to any of 'em. With Tom I almost felt bad about not helping him out with his gizmo. But Jim, I hardly gave it a second thought. Like I said, I'd already started thinking I might have a use for all that money.

I'd already started to get a bit clearer in my head about how I felt. First off, I finally realized that there was something bothering me. You should have need to meet my dad, and his father to understand what a big deal that is. Somewhere along the road I ran into this saying, "I think, therefore I am." To my way of understanding that has something to do with how we know we exist. Don't look surprised, I may be a cracker, but I ain't no stale cracker! Ever'body wonders about that sometimes, growing up. Some of us keep wondering, growing old.

Well, according to that, some people know it because they think. I bet a whole lot more, especially lately, the way folks are getting, would say, "I feel, therefore I am." It's all about "I feel this", and "you feel that," and "ow, he looked at me funny" nowadays. The school I grew up in, it was "I do, therefore I am." IT didn't matter so much what you did or thought, the way my pop judged me was what I DID. And I took that to heart. It's only in the last few years, when it's mostly just been me kicking around in this old house, that I've had the time to consider that a bit. It occurs to me that maybe I've had a feelin' or two that mattered to me. Well - that's really what this whole story is about, ain't it?

Where was I? Oh yeah, my point was that to realize I had a feelin' and that it mattered enough to me to do something kinda crazy about it, well, that was what I'd call a big step forward to me. Or maybe not, anyway - I realized it was all about that damn field for me. I needed it next to me, like Lulu would be going into town when she was around.

I knew not one person would agree with my idea so I kept it to myself. I called on a few lawyers and some engineers and got it clearly sketched out in my mind. On paper too. I still got the plans all rolled up around here somewhere. You wouldn't believe what those pieces of paper cost. I got all the permits and whatnot lined up.

Well, if you ain't guessed it by now you ain't as bright as you look. Yep, I built that overpass runs right into that field over yonder. Took just about every last dime I had. Course I kept a little back. I told you about how to stay a farmer earlier, and I'm still a farmer. But boy did that P.O. my boys. I'm not gonna mention what folks round here thought. You can imagine. And I guess I do miss hearing from them a bit, although I think mebbe they're starting to thaw out a little, Jim especially - he always did have the attention span of a chicken.

So was it worth it? Hell yes. The day that thing was finished and they'd pulled off the trucks, the crews, and the noise, I got up, walked across in my pajamas, peering down at the odd car rolling underneath, walked into my field and started pokin' at plants. Heaven.

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I'll be damned if it wasn't only after I finished the whole gee willikers thing it occurred to me I coulda just bought that other land right next to my field. And build a whole new house there for peanuts. Yes, my family has lived in this house for generations, but I ain't sentimental like that. Oh well, easy come, easy go.

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